Whenever possible, use strong subjects and active constructions, rather than weak verbal nouns or abstractions and weak passive or linking verbs: instead of "Petruchio's denial of Kate of her basic necessities would seem cruel and harsh...," try "By denying Kate the basic necessities of life, Petruchio appears cruel and harsh--but he says that he is just putting on an act." Don't forget that words and even phrases can serve as strong sentence subjects: "Petruchio's 'I'll buckler thee against a million' injects an unexpectedly chivalric note, especially since it follows hard on the heels of his seemingly un-gentlemanly behavior." And remember--use regular quotation marks unless you're quoting material that contains a quotation itself.
The essay is long enough to analyze and compare the author's perspective to other perspectives in a nuanced way (1 positive example for each perspective with an addition negative example comparing the 2 perspectives the author disagreed to her own perspective) and include an introductory paragraph and a conclusion. While ACT, Inc. doesn't acknowledge that length is a factor in scoring ACT essays, most experts agree that it is. But length means nothing if there isn't valuable information filling the space, so long ACT essays also need to be detailed—this author uses the space to give lots of analysis of and context for her examples.